A Week of Learning

Hail loyal readers. As some of you may know, I've spent the past week absolutely miserably ill. I've got some virus, that starts with a C, that I can't even pronounce. Apparently it's a disease that is regularly caught by young children, but that wreaks absolute havoc on an adult. I'm at the tail end of it, I'm hoping, but luckily my doctor signed a note excusing me from work, so I don't have to deal with any of that mess.

Interestingly enough, this week of being laid up has done a great deal for me. I've spent a great deal of time thinking. It's been a quiet week of contemplation. Alicia has been still in school of course, and my grandparents (in whose house I currently live) are still doing their snowbirding trip in Arizona, so as a result I've spent a great deal of time by myself. These days of quiet, and calm (save of course for the times when I feel close to death due to illness) have been spent in contemplation and reflection.

I've done a great deal of reading, or audiobook listening, depending on the day. I've spent a great deal of time reading through blogs on marriage. Let's lay something down right here, getting married to Alicia is the best decision I've ever made. The planning and facilitation has been a challenge, however it's my belief that these trials and decisions have brought myself and my love to be infinitely closer. No one in this world knows me better than my boo, but I would be the first to admit that she and I both have wealths of information to learn about the other, and this experience has brought a great deal of progress in that department.

I could go on for hours and hours, and paragraphs and paragraphs relating to the lessons that I have learned. Lessons about myself, about Alicia, about marriage, engagement, colors, fabrics... and many other things.

Perhaps one of the biggest and most amazing discoveries this week, has been what I'm heavily considering going back to school for. As Alicia and I embarked on one of our favorite pass times, watching documentaries together, we noticed that a great deal of the documentaries that I select, are about the ocean, and it's myriad of lifeforms. After some research, I've decided that I would love to be an oceanographer. I'm very excited to return to school, and honestly, this is the first time that I've felt that way. I've always known that going back to school is necessary, but I have not been excited. This course of study however, has reignited my desire to learn, and has me anxious to return to a university. First things first is a bachelor's in biology, then a master's in oceanography, and then, depending on what is going on in life, I desire to obtain my Ph.D as well.

However, I'm digressing. I do wish to speak about two of the things that I've learned this week that stand out to me the most.

The first is the effects of stress in my life. Alicia will vouch for the fact that worrying and stressing are two things I rarely do. I generally am able to look at a situation and see how to work through to the end of it. Stressing out about things has never been my style. However, my new job is FILLED with stress. I literally get paid to have people yell at me, and this is not something that I'm particularly... built for. Alicia and I discussed it at great length, and we determined that part of the reason that a) this disease was able to hit my usually impervious immune system and b) why it hit me like a Mack truck laden down with concrete is because my entire system is so unaccustomed to stress. The other factor of this is minor things, that I would usually be able to work my way through, have been weighing more heavily on me of length. I'm now worrying more than I can remember worrying in my life. However, as it is, it's raised a very important detail to the attention of myself and my future bride. It's very clear that while this job pays the bills for now, the faster I can get into a different vocation, the better.

Now, the other thing that I've uncovered, is the ability to do just about anything with Alicia and enjoy it. Now, that isn't to say that everything we do is the very best experience ever. There are definitely things that Alicia will enjoy significantly more that I will enjoy it. This is also not to say that alone time isn't important. Something that Alicia and I know is that we need time by ourselves. I don't care who you are, how in love you are, how perfect things are, everyone and I mean everyone, needs decompression time. Allow yourself, and your other half to have time to themselves, and you will find that the time you do spend together is even more of a treasure than other moments. What I have learned, is that things I would never consider doing by myself, and that in reality I could not consider doing with other people, are things that I find profound enjoyment in when I do them with Alicia. She has made me a Biggest Loser fan, I enjoy taking walks with her, and these are just two examples. I choose to believe that there are things that I enjoy that she does with me, and finds enjoyment as long as it's something we do together.

This is perhaps the most important part. While alone time is critical, together time is just as important. This is not sitting in the same room. That is not together time. That is being in the same room together. Interaction is important. That is truly where the relationship with my boo blossomed, is when we truly began to interact. I have learned that interaction with Alicia brings me fulfillment. Taking interest in what she does, whether it's the specifics of a day at work, to something she learned in class, my greatest moments in a day are when she and I just relate to one another.

I pass this information on for multiple reasons. Perhaps my younger brother's who read this can learn lessons that it has taken me a long time to learn. Perhaps my loyal readers may incorporate something into it. Perhaps it's simply to affirm to myself that I've learned these things. Whatever the case, I feel it is important for me to "pen" these words.

I look forward to my marriage, nothing in my life has held more happiness, excitement and ever terror (yes terror) than this upcoming event. Change is scary my friends, but it's also amazing. This is a change that I wait for breathlessly.

It is my hope and prayer that the lessons I've learned, will do something for the friends and followers of this blog cast. Until next time my friends, this has been another blogcast of The Rogue Signal. Goodnight, and good luck.