The Most Devastating Weapon of All

The past several weeks have been eventful to say the very least. Following a long discussion with Alicia, it was determined that we'd most likely end up living in Utah Valley following our wedding. specifically in and around Provo itself. Something that I've noticed with several of my friends is that they spend a great deal of time right before their wedding searching for a place to live, and it adds a great deal of undue stress into their lives. I resolved to prevent that from happening, and began to look for employment and living quarters in the Provo region.

As it turns out, I got an interview for a job two days after I began this search. The interview was on a Monday, I started work on a Wednesday, and I'd signed the papers for an apartment, and moved into it on Saturday. In my mind that's a clear sign that I was where I was supposed to be.

These last weeks have been filled with adjusting to my new living situation. I'm currently living in a fairly large apartment by myself, Alicia will of course not be moving in till after our wedding in June. However the apartment is unfurnished, so my sweetie and I have been slowly acquiring furniture. We now have a couch, a tv, and an entertainment center! I'm currently sleeping on an air mattress on the floor, but that's likely to be remedied soon. Alicia's parents are giving her the bed she used when she was in high school, so at least we will have one. It will be small, but it's better than an air mattress!

I'm going to return, dear readers, to my usual style of writing. Which is to say, I'm asking that you brace yourself for a controlled rant of my emotions. Situations lately have truly had me frustrated, and I have tried my best to just brush them aside or keep them bottled up. I've determined, however, that this particular group of actions is one I'm bad at. I don't bottle up very well. I don't do a very good job of keeping things buried. The fact of the matter is, while some can bottle it up, and then healthily dispose of it, I seem to be incapable of doing that. As you read through the rest of this little tirade, I'm sure you'll be able to understand why it is that I feel this way

So my friends, I'm going to discuss the prospect of war. Now when I'm speaking of war I'm not discussing one in Iraq, I'm not discussing the fabled battles of Humans and Orcs in numerous fantasy genres. Hell, this isn't even a discussion regarding The Galactic Empire and the friggin' Rebel Alliance. I'm speaking of a war that strikes much closer to home. I've seen this war tear apart friendships, tear apart families, and decimate friendships. I'm discussing an interpersonal war.

It's a widely accepted fact that every person in the world is in some sort of conflict with another person. This isn't to say that everyone hates someone, but there are people that we disagree with, don't get along with, etc. For one reason or another, the human race is incapable of just simply getting along. Most of us can't even truly agree to disagree. How many times has someone said that to you, or have you said that to someone? How many of those times have you walked away muttering under your breath, or feeling in your heart that you're absolutely right? How often are you belittling the intelligence of the other person in your brain, even after having just offered the diplomatic solution?

This war is waged on so many different levels, and with a variety of weapons. A friend of mine described her favorite weapon as the "french pout." The French pout is a classic French facial gesture which expresses discontent, disdain or disgust. Others, such as myself, usually choose all out confrontation. Then there are those that choose to utilize a weapon that is the equivalent of using biological warfare. They deploy this underhanded technique and lay waste to those with whom they are quarreling. This all too common weapon is used to breed complacency in the target, and then when the quarry least expects it, the party who is wielding this tool will suddenly NINJA SLASH THEIR HEART, BRAIN, AND SOUL!

As you can see, I have very strong feelings on this, and perhaps that's why I choose to write about it. The weapon I speak of, that weapon which is all to frequently utilized in interpersonal relationships, is passive agression. Wikipedia defines this as follows:

[b]Passive–aggressive behavior, a personality trait, is passive, sometimes obstructionist resistance to following through with expectations in interpersonal or occupational situations. It is a personality trait marked by a pervasive pattern of negative attitudes and passive, usually disavowed resistance in interpersonal or occupational situations.[/b]

Disavowed! That is one of the key words of this damnable behavior! People choose to simply deny that they are still feeling upset or negative about a situation. The person they are quarreling with will accept this at face value. This regularly happens because the conflicted parties often care deeply about each other, which in my mind makes this crime all the more heinous. The damage that passive aggressive behavior can wreak [b]cannot[/b] be understated. Passive aggressive behavior can cause a butterfly effect within a relationship that may not be felt for days, weeks, or even years.

I choose not to point fingers, or make examples in this particular blog. This isn't intended to put anyone on blast. Perhaps this makes me passive aggressive as well, or at least so many of you may think. However, the difference is I intend to talk to these people about the issue, but I needed a cooler head before I did it. Taking the time to put these words into the nether space that is the internet has provided me with a bit of perspective. I've made my opinions broadly known, and soon the specifics will be discussed with those whom I've deemed as in violation of the code of relationship behavior.

I apologize for this unfocused and angry rant, thanks for reading. As always, dear readers, this has been a blogcast of The Rogue Signal. Until next time, goodnight, and good luck.